||[Nov. 4th, 2010|06:04 pm]
FurFright was fun. After typing it out a few times already I've realized there isn't a lot that I can put into words to make it sound like it was, but it was. I'll be going again next year and it will be better then, this I know. |
Though one thing I've neglected to mention in my more high traffic journals is that it was a terrible reminder of how alone I am. I couldn't get anyone to stay around me for any real length of time save for once, any other time the people I was talking with would bluntly walk off and join another group and most times do so right in front of me. At one point even my best friend told me to get lost. I'm sure he wasn't meaning for me to really take it like I did, but I did. Even when going out to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory I had this lovely reminder of loneliness when I was stuck, rather against my will, between two couples, one of which wouldn't knock off the lovey dovey crap.
This really isn't something I needed to go through right now since I'm trying hard to not become so resentful toward people that flaunt their relationships, and honestly I'm slowly losing this battle. It's not a good thing for obvious reason, but it's also bad cause more and more people that are closer to me are getting into new relationships and though they're not flaunting anything it is becoming quite frustrating. Worse yet I'm starting to question if there's something wrong with me. For all the praise and positive comments I receive on both my looks and character you'd think people would be lining up for a chance to be with me, but instead I've literally begged to be with someone and still I stand alone. It is indeed making me wonder if people just aren't saying the things they do just to make me shut up.
As it stands right now there's only two people I dare pin any hopes on, but honestly they're long shots at best. One being a great distance away and whom I haven't had a chance to talk to in quite some time, thus making me wonder if I even stand a chance now, and the other I don't even know if I want anything with or not as they'd already be starting with a lack of trust.
Sorry, had to get that out of my system...